hi i dropped using tumblr entirely for several years and i just redownloaded it just to see what was up and your posts was on of the first and i just wanna say you’re still a BEAUT and your blog is still on and poppin have a wonderful night!!!
Awwww hey this is nice, thank you!! Wish you didn’t do it on anon though! I NEED PALS IN MY LIFE
What a fucking year. I can easily look back and remember each moment with such clarity. I can transport myself to the feelings I’ve swam in. The highs and the lows. I’ve drowned in happiness while floating on a sea of sadness, but I wouldn’t take back anything.
I’ve grown so much and was forced to face so many of my fears head on. What I’ve gained is immeasurable and I love myself for living it. It’s hard to explain how much this year has meant to me. I’ve felt so sad for so long and this year I’ve finally felt true happiness. Complete bliss. I’ve travelled the world, I’ve surrounded myself with love and I gave all the love I had in me. How beautiful it is to have experienced it all in one year.
As I came closer to the end, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. I cried and I begged for any sign of redemption. And that’s when I found that the light had always been there, but I was too greedy to see it. To appreciate it. I got every single thing I had asked for. I wanted more, but there was nothing left because I had received the greatest gift no matter how long I had it for. And if this little bit of sadness was the price I had to pay for the happiness I received, then I would pay in full 1000 times over.
Now the year comes to a close and I am so incredibly happy. I can only hope that 2019 grants me as much beauty and happiness this year has brought me. I am not lost, only longing.
BLIND MONKEY CHEF
There’s only one person I remember talking about this to………….. is it you?!?!
I miss you entirely and I am no longer upset that I do
Because there were good parts. Damn good parts.
And if I could place a snow globe of happiness on my bedside table
It would be filled with the shore where you kissed me by the lighthouse
11/27/18
All of our memories cling onto every crevice of my brain
The good far outweigh the bad
And though I try so hard to keep them at bay
The doors burst open for we created a masterpiece
What a great wonder it is to live a life so sweet
No matter how short time allowed of us
For I gave you unconditional love, one that did not ask for love back
But you ran and swept away every trace left of me
I once read about how monks spend days, even weeks creating a mandala. Millions of grains of sand shaped into a precise piece of divine art. Bending their backs, which I can only assume gets quite painful. Then when the piece is done they have a ceremony, pray over it and then sweep it all away to symbolize that nothing is permanent.
HI TO ALL THE BOYS IVE CURVED!!! I AM SORRY!! I THOUGHT I FOUND THE ONE, GUESS I WAS WRONG PLS COME BACK
Napoleon Lapathiotis, tr. by Panayotis Sfalagakos, from “Like a Wind,” (via sonoya)
(Source: violentwavesofemotion)
October 21, 2018
An endless stream of thoughts pace through my mind
Wandering, wondering
It’s quiet but the questions are loud
I never dare speak them to his face
In fear that it will drive him away
But they roar, banging at the walls to be set free
Often, I look at him and try to find the answers I seek
But the loudest one of all begs to question
Is he only staying because he is afraid to break my heart?
If your gf/bf/bff needs reassurance on how you feel, just give it to them. We’re humans and go through shit. It’s nice to feel wanted.